The glistening light dances off of the smooth surfaces. Calling, beckoning to be touched, played in, tasted. To the touch it engulfs the surface of my skin it is somehow strangely refreshing.

Calling me back to a time when it surrounded my being. This is home, where I came from and where I belong and march towards subconsciously every day of my life.

We are drawn back as if some force controls our direction and we have no will, no desire to resist. In its current form it dances, calms and bring peace to the chaos that is everyday.

It gives and supports life, makes passion rise deep within. It has been worshiped in every age and religion. From within the deepest crevices it slowly makes its way to the surface. I am there to receive it. It nourishes and heals me.

As we step back from the cup of life, we peer back down and witness one of lifes greatest pleasures......Water

My life is a realm of complexity from which I thrive, A duality of emotions make me feel so alive. What I believe versus what I am told, A struggle that is eons old.

I want what I am told not to desire, Seek out which sets my being a-fire. What I am told to have I cherish, This eternal conflict is all to nightmarish.

Civilization holds on to a belief, One that fills my life with much grief. A belief that I do not wholly subscribe to at my core, Life is to be lived, experienced, shared and want for nothing more.

In daylight I walk the streets as a drone, Playing by the “rules” as I roam. In my dreams I live in a world of my making, A dream of no boundaries, no rules, no shame and no taking.

It is this dream where you have existed, Where insecurities and hesitation have been resisted. To pleasure me, to comfort me as part of my kingdom, To allow me to be who I am and bathe in true freedom.

I am being asked to awaken from this dream, As you take time to assess what this means. My dream as if sand it is built, Has fallen victim to our old friend that is guilt.

Guilt chokes like the blockage of an artery Guilt confines like the bars of a prison Guilt traps like the depths of quicksand Guilt binds like chains on the soul of any man.

My dream clouds over as a storm sweeps in, Threatening my pleasures as the world claims sin. Guilt has entered my world but not for me, As it attacks the being who rests on bended knee.

It is a choice for that soul to be made, Recoil to the masses or not to be swayed. I will go on staying true to my dream, Maintaining two lives that are not always seen.

There are dreams that exist by those who can see, The truth to one's self that must be set free. In this realm where beliefs can collide I will find my kingdom that keeps me alive.

I promise to be the father I never had, To pick you up when you are feeling sad. To catch you when you fall, To have time for you when you call.

I promise to teach you all of these things, To hear the sparrow as it sings. To stand up in the face of fear, To show you how I hold you dear.

I promise to open my mind, To situations that have you in a bind. To never criticize, To approach your thoughts with open eyes.

I promise as I leave this world, That you are my special little girl.

The portal to the soul, as I look in I know I am not whole. The skin withers, the hair grays, bones may soften through all my days. It is within the depth of your brown eyes that I find a piece of me I have left behind.

For everything I did and did not do... I was wrong. For every day missed, moments lost, years gone forever... I was wrong. I knew not what I was doing, I was young and believed I knew everything.... I was wrong. I believed that nothing was greater than a mother's hand... I was wrong. I have hurt you as I was hurt... I was wrong. I have no right to ask for your forgiveness because... I was wrong.