On the job, we are tasked with participating in an annual ritual that is designed to assist your manager in helping you get where you need to be in your career and area of responsibility. You see, it falls after the annual performance evaluation process, which in itself is quite good as far as one of those 360-degree processes goes. But the next step is to take some of the information from the PE process and actually build a plan out of it.
I am one of those people who somehow has all of the good advice to give to others in their careers but has a difficult time being able to look at my own and determine what it is I want out of life. I am sure I am not alone and that this generally applies to everyone. That is probably why they say that it is always easier to give advice to others than follow it yourself.
Most years, I have not really had a problem trying to write one of these things; however, this year is different for some reason. I am usually pretty good at knowing where I stand in the grand scheme of things and have been known to judge myself harder than those who contribute to my PE. This year was no different. For the Plan, I usually am able to draw one up based on the following view: Acknowledge the areas of improvement and put down what I will do to accomplish them, write down what I want in the next 1, 3, and 5 years. That way, it is easier to try and draw some milestones for my manager in terms of where I want to be next.
This year is a bit different. I was generally pleased with my PE process and the feedback people wrote about me. That part of the process was really not that different than previous years. However, there were certain comments that made it clear who they came from. These were comments from individuals that I had problems with over the previous year. I found that in my Plan, I was responding to these comments in a way that would make it clear to my manager where I stood on the issues.
I realized that in the past, I was being too bending in taking these negative comments and assuming that they were my deficiencies. I gave it some serious thought and realized that the main reason I had great comments from about 95% of the people was because I was doing the right thing in how I manage my team and our contribution to the organization. It is the 5% that I needed to look at closer. I came to the understanding that the main reason I have issues with these people is because I have a certain standard in how people should perform their work. I am not suggesting that I am perfect and flaw-free, but I do believe that I have a general foundation within my work ethic that I expect from both those who work for me and those who I work with.
For this, I turn to what I learned in the Marine Corps. For everything that the Marine Corps is in the eyes of the world and general public, one thing is for sure: the core of the Corps is based on the simplest of beliefs: Loyalty, Integrity, Honor, Determination, and Pride. When I reviewed these traits on those 5%, I found that this is where I am having issues with these people. It is not necessarily my problem to improve. I made this clear in my plan this year. But I will concede to one thing. Even though these individuals are pretty much screwed up, it is my responsibility to my career to manage how I deal with them. I ran into a few situations last year that cast me in a bad light when dealing with these individuals. Why? I now know: I was trying to change them. This was my flaw and main area of improvement in my plan.
My advice to those who want it in dealing with difficult people situations:
- Take responsibilities for your actions, not others actions.
- Don’t waste time trying to “force-change” people.
- Spend time changing through example, guidance and constructive criticism when possible.
- When the above fails, stop trying to help. Most people learn from falling faster anyhow.
I would say that I spent all of 2004 on #2. I came into 2005 on #3 and have now reached a point where I have no choice but to resort to #4. After all, you can only help or partner with those who want to accept it.
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